Low, Low, Low

I'm not here to whine and cry; I'm not here to feel sorry for myself. I'm trying to figure out why my life seems to just suck and suck and suck.

In April, I was abruptly fired from my job of two years. It was a blow I don't know if I'll recover from, as there was no reason given after I asked WHY. It was supposed to be a professional atmosphere, but I've never seen such two-facing and backstabbing in my life. I met all my deadlines, I asked for help when needed. It apparently was a sucking place to work. I didn't know.

I have always been ok with myself, but when it comes to other people, I have no self-confidence whatsoever. When I was growing up, we really didn't socialize as a family; very seldom did we have any company over, sometimes relatives. But I don't ever want to hurt anyone.

When it comes to work, or relationships, I can't seem to get it right. I don't know what's wrong, or if EVERYBODY has these problems. Every man I've ever been with loves the hell out of me in the beginning, but when he wants to establish control later on, he doesn't quite like my independence.

I'd love to just live by myself, quietly. No men. Just me, and some cats. Alone. ALONE.