I Give Up...

Ya know, I really give up. I can't seem to find a decent relationship to save my life. I don't think I'm a bad person; I go to work, come home, don't do drugs or drink to excess, and I don't run around on my partner. Maybe I make consistently bad partner choices, but I don't think so. I am a peaceful person, don't like to argue, and I don't lie. But right now, I am being accused of lying, and I don't like it.
Maybe I need to start being as selfish as everyone else-yeah, that's it.
I even tried a relationship with someone of the same sex as myself. That one died too. It seems that so many people are addicted to drama in their lives; they can't live without it.
I help others when I can genuinely help, but that's not being appreciated, either.
This post was originally going to contain much fresh anger and harsh language, but now, after the original burn, it seems foolish. So I won't do that.
So many people are so unhappy. I refuse to be that way, and I'm no Pollyanna. The world is fucked up beyond all repair, but I refuse to give in to total despair.
I don't know what else to do. So I guess I'll go on the best way I know how, which is what I've taught myself to do. And hope for the best.

I used to be so happy, have such potential. I try to stay cheerful now, put setbacks in perspective, treat others fairly. Why have my personal relationships been such disasters? Because I stand up for myself and don't buckle under to someone who wants to be overbearing and tell me what to do and how to think? Maybe. Bad choices? Maybe. I'm not going to analyze it anymore. I'm weary of it all, life, tired, spent, exhausted. Tired of struggling to keep things together. WWIII? I can't wait!

We are so screwed as a species-we can't get along with each other in a face-to-face personal way with people we supposedly love-how can we ever get along with each other as races and countries?